Sometimes I Don't Make Babies

I know this is my craft blog. But really, it's just my blog. And I do sometimes make stuff. And sometimes I don't. A lot of times I have great aspirations of making lots of things. And then life happens. But I don't say that in a negative tone. I love when life happens. Sometimes that life inculdes making bags, planning parties, giving gifts and sometimes it includes cleaning pee off the floor and doing piles of laundry. So I guess I can really write about anything I choose. Because it's my blog. And I'll do what I want. Said in my most sassyiest tone. (i can even make up words or not capitalize "I"...i live on the edge.)

So this post is not about anything I have made. But I guess, in a way, it is about something I've not made. Or we've not made. Because in our family, we don't make babies. There is a super long backstory and I won't go into all of it. I used to have another blog and if you are interested, you could check that out. It tells the long backstory over 103 posts. In our family, we have been abundantly blessed to not make babies, but to adopt them.

Three years ago we set out on our first adoption journey. It was quite the experience. Other than myself and my brother, I didn't really know anyone who was adopted or had gone through the adoption process. My husband and I always knew we wanted to eventually, but just thought we would later...after we had at least one biological child. That thought makes me laugh now. We really had it all planned out. But we are so thankful that God had other plans. It was tough though. We really felt that almost no one understood our desires for adoption specifically. I think everyone was excited that we would get a baby. But there were very few who understood that God had placed adoption specifically on our hearts. It was hard because we felt like we always had to convince people to love adoption as much as we did. To care for our babies biological mother as much as we did. To see adoption not as a fall back plan but as a wonderful gift. But that was faulty thinking on our part. We couldn't change hearts. That is the holy spirit's job!

But what was so amazing to see is after we brought our precious little boy home, we felt like people did begin to understand. They could look into his sweet little face and see the reason we were so passionate about adoption. It just happened that for us, God had gifted us with the faith before the sight. Which I believe now is absolutely required to take each step forward in an adoption process. And it is a gift of God no doubt.

So....all of this to say, we are starting the process for baby number two! And I am over the moon thrilled. Like so excited I can't stand it. But once again, there are only a few who truly understand that (outside our church body that is!). And it has surprised me even more this time around. I know that I don't have a growing belly. I know that a lot of people don't understand adoption. I get it. But for me, it does feel like I'm pregnant. I know there is a lot of work ahead of us, but at the end, Lord willing, there will be a baby. I've been struggling a little with this.

I searched on pinterest, for example, for adoption related announcement photos. You know you've seen the cute pictures announcing a pregnancy. Well...I thought for sure there would be some idea to announce an adoption. But nada. Nothing. In fact, when you enter the word adoption in on the search engine on pinterest you get very little about babies and a lot about pets. I don't blame pinterest. (Um...because I do believe pinterest was sent straight from heaven.) I don't blame anyone. It just makes me sad I guess.

When I was adopted 30 years ago, I guess adoption was still a sort of taboo thing. No one really wanted to talk about it. I feel like my parents must have been some sort of radicals back then among their friends and family. My parents were always super open about everything, so for me, it was so normal. I've always known that babies come into families through 2 ways. So I undertand that everyone is not there. I really do.

But, here is my charge to anyone reading this. If anyone you know is going through the adoption process, know that it is very hard. There are loads of paperwork. Loads. The agencies go through every area of your life with a fine tooth comb. And they should. Adoption is very expensive. So most families going through this are not only filling out big fat packets of paperwork about their life, but also trying to figure out how to come up with the money. Planning fundraisers. Writing letters. Making things to sell. Scraping by on ramen to put some money back. So on top of all that, they want people to also be excited about the child they will bring home! They get tired of people asking "so what kind of baby are you getting?"... I seriously wanted to sometimes say "we sure are hoping for human". It's hard to hear "So are you going to tell your child they are adopted?". Yes. We will absolutely tell them.. It's super hard to hear "Well...maybe after you adopt, you'll get pregnant and have a baby of your own." Pretty sure I paid big bucks for these children and they are officially mine. I have the papers to prove it!

Now, I don't mean to sound harsh. I really do understand that not everyone comes from the background I do. And anytime I have ever had one of those conversations I have always appreciated the opportunity to talk about adoption. I have appreciated that people are asking us about it. Because I think it does mean they care. It's just sometimes I want people to pull up a seat for me, ask how I'm feeling, when the babies coming, and do I need anything to eat. Especially that last one.

I have sort of a tendency to throw a fit. So as I was doing this to my sweet friend who is also an adoptive mother (by choice!), she shared some great wisdom. She said that there is something very special about not having the hype that comes along with a pregnancy. Sometimes I guess it's easy to get caught up in the nursery decorations, the baby clothes, the maternity clothes, the baby showers and all that jazz (especially with first babies!). But with adoption, your focus has to be on the end result. You have to actually put one foot in front of the other to make things happen. It's very easy to feel overwhelmed and alone. But knowing that by trudging through there will be a child that wouldn't have had a home otherwise, well...it makes it all worth it.

This time around, I'm hoping to enjoy the journey more. I pray that the Lord would give me a supernatural understanding that, no matter what happens along the way, he is leading us to a specific child. I told my husband that we are signing up for a hard year by starting this process again. But I know that through this year (or years!) the Lord will reveal himself in new ways. He will teach us to trust him more and more. He will use us to educate people about adoption. And we pray he will grow others hearts for adoption. We have been abundantly blessed to be surrounded by close friends and a church who loves adoption. Who see it rightly. Adoption is a priority in our church. And for that I am so thankful.

As far as all the other stuff...I know that stuff doesn't really matter. I know it's about the child. But for now...I'm going to sit here with my feet propped up, daydreaming about a little baby...and maybe go eat some chocolate. Because I am expecting afterall!

Thanks for listening...